It’s been 6 months since I decided to change what I eat. I can not only feel a difference in the way my body feels in regards to my RA but I can see a difference now…. When I was in like 4^th grade I remember getting my first pimple. Ugh. I remember how embarrassed I was and trying to hide. It was all down-hill from there. My skin just got progressively worst as I got older. This affected my self-esteem more than I like to admit. I spent so much money on lasers and took scary drugs like Accutane to try to get better skin. I’ve purchased every lotion and skin care system under the sun. Any glimmer of promise and I hand over my money. Then I got pregnant and my skin got so much worst. I wish I had been one of those pregnant women with “glowing” skin. I was a pregnant woman glowing red with enflamed acne. It KILLS me that in those moments when Vie and Zoe were small I avoided them touching my face because I felt it was too dirty and gross for them to touch. I have lived avoiding pictures because I am not photogenic at all and seeing pictures of my skin just makes me sink even more. Constantly wondering if someone is looking at my skin is a stigma I live with. What I recently noticed is that for the first time since before that first pimple in 4^th grade, I am starting to feel comfortable with my skin. For the first time in my life I am ok going out (to drop off at carpool) without a full layer of makeup – hey, baby steps! But I feel ok only wearing a tinted moisturizer most days. And what fills my heart the most, is that I feel ok letting the baby touch my face. My skin is still not perfect. I have a lot of scarring from the years of bad cystic acne and I still break out once in a while. But, I feel like my skin is in a process of healing now much like my self-esteem. I know it has everything to do with eating clean, the skin healing part. The comfort part also might have something to do with the time we are living in. It feels like such an empowering time to be a woman and to love yourself and be strong in who you are – as you are. I think this woman empowerment is not only affecting our young girls to grow strong in their womanhood but its giving those of us who have been struggling with the ideas of what a beautiful strong self-assured woman is supposed to look like. I think that woman is starting to look like me.